dreams.

tis a sad instance to be in love and that love not be returned. to sit and wait for something that may never occur. falling asleep at night touching dreams that will never come true. where does one go when these dreams are the only reality that one knows ? when hope and tightly squeezed pillows are the anchor that holds you together..where do you go ? do you fight clenching your eyes, or do you open them & die ?

favourite songs.

nothing is more appealing to me than a man that loves God and music, because i honestly believe that being in love is like hearing your favorite song..or hearing a song you've always loved but haven't heard in a while...and i want him to be able to love me more than that moment. i want to be his favorite song..and i'll sing it beautifully...push play.

poll

if you're in love with someone should you tell them how you feel, even if you arent sure how they feel, or even if you've been hurt by this person before?


what do you think?

love & marriage.

there have been times in the past where my pride has attempted to mask my heart's scars in saying that i never wanted love, i never wanted to get married, i never wanted any of it, but if i can be transparent for a moment i'd dare say there is nothing i want more. i often come off as rude, or indifferent because i have the tendency to hide my emotions to prevent the public from seeing me at a vulnerable place, but my heart beats for love & romance, and i find now that it aches for love more than ever before. because i've been at the brink of it. i've seen a future full of it, and though that idea has been thwarted by the reality of the situation i still believe in it. the bible says in 1 corinthians 13 that "love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" and that reminds me that if the love i possess parallels that verse then it must be real. it reminds me that the love that i possess never fails. so in spite of the present i know that the burden my heart carries for him is love, and if i remain faithful it will NOT fail.

maturity

sometimes we have to ask God to grant us the maturity to stay on assignment and not get attached.

manifest.

Is it possible to love someone for something they haven't become yet, and to love them in a time that has not yet manifested itself?

because i do. I love him for who he is in his fullness of God. For who God has created
him to be. And my soul recognizes that, and loves him for it.

screeech.

so i got into a car accident last night.
and the three most important people in my life
(outside of my family ... well sort of ) were with me
and i thank God for sparing us and keeping us safe..
i also thank God that my car still runs though it looks
PRETTY BAD ! nobody can take care of me like my God can !

reciprocity.

its the most amazing feeling in the world to find out that the person that you love most in the world feels like EXACT same way.

new flame.

all in me.

i wish i could explain
why im here in this place
standing beside you but i cant
its very difficult when God places
us on an assignment that we'd
never thought we'd be. its a little
more difficult when your heart is
on the line as well, but i love God
and i know he'll protect my heart.

live & learn

as im maturing im learning & understanding
that maybe i love people a tad much more
than they love me. ive been hurt by friends
and loved ones so much in the past because of this
but it cant be a quality in me that i wont be blessed
for..loyalty i guess some would call it... the thing is
when those quality people come around they'll understand
that and love me for it ... and my dear husband will not
have room enough for the love ill be able to give him..

its only sometimes..like these times when i miss him
do i realize that loving someone more than they love you
can be a slightly painful experience..but hey that usually
doesn't change things now does it?

19

so its pretty much
my birthday ..
one year away
from not being
a teenager...does
that mean i get to take
advantage of the excuse to
be an idiot? naw im above that.
happy birthday britteney yvonne scales
you were chosen by God before being
formed in the womb. He has made you fearfully
and wonderfully and every step that you take
in Him is ordained and ordered by God. every trial
every mistake, everything you've ever done He knew
about it..your past is your past, your dreams and hopes
for the future lie in Him, trust GOD and HE will
never ever fail you...He loves you more than you can
ever love yourself or anyone else..trust Him, and let him
redeem and refill you...He'LL ALWAYS BE THERE...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

two things.

one: God is good, i been struggling and struggling tryna find some release so i went to nana talked to her about it , and guess what she did? she calmed me down and prayed for me =] thank God for praying nanas.


two: i had a dream last night he said : " britteney, i love you. & i said i know i love you too ______ , and he said " no i mean i love you ".

i pretty much dont need to say anything else.

happy birthday keana.

so saturday night,
we took my bff kiki h.
to the orpheum theatre to see
justin nozuka , lenka & missy higgins.
can i first say it was an amazing show
three FANTASTIC artists who are very talented.
secondly, i took AWESOME pictures:







lenka, look her up. her voice is like an angel's





she's working the shoes





our headliner justin nozuka














meet & greet.
keana loves his hair.

Gustav Klimt.

one of my favorite artists, here's a bit of his more famous pieces:




musique





fulfillment


& my favorite





the kiss...

lost.

just because im losing,
doesnt mean im lost..
im just waiting until the shine wears off...

seasons change.

you lied in July.
We fell in the fall.
I grew cold in the winter.
Now im renewed in the spring.

God Bless you.
i'll always be here.

uhm.

i cant wait until he comes home.

november 2oo8.

i emailed this to myself in november from my sidekick...its quite interesting.

"i put my toe in the water to test you but you came from behind & pushed me in & at first i floated , swam , explored you. i enjoyed you the way your waves pushed me to & fro the way you engulfed me in your sweet coolness you let me relax in you & hide from hot summer days in your hands yet in your darkest places i found parts of you that i admired like the managerie of beautiful colors on your walls & floors the beautiful things that take life in you , but i found parts of you that were hidden by your beauty , by your waves , by the way you move , you got me right where you wanted me and your current took me under , i couldnt feel the floor i began to drown even as strong as i am i started to drown in you & as i sank i realized that outwardly you were everything i wanted but deep within you`re just a ugly body of water , snatching me under , flowing peacefully as you watched me drown."

kids choice awards.

so this is it ,
the day before
my 19th birthday
my favorite celebrity
dwayne johnson will be hosting
the 2009 kids choice awards
and he'll be in the same
city im in...its pretty heart
wrenching to know he'll be so
close and iwont see him.

but hey, maybe i should start
praying about it, cause God
does give us our heart's desire
right? but that seems so shallow.
but hey i got spice girl tickets
10 years ago on a prayer so who
says i wont get to meet the rock??

i never compete.

yet i always win.
its God's favor baby.
romans 8 28 !

caution.

we as people
must be careful
not to allow our
outwards to display
what our inwards feel.

our hearts sometimes
rule our very actions
and we dont think upon
them until much later...


contemplate.

everythingg.

some things you just have to trust God on,
and let HIM tell you exactly what to do..

right now i am full of so many emotions
and i need so much help!

Proverbs 27: 17

As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.





when i was distraught from losing
two of the closest friends i'd evr had
( not to death but to the world) a beacon
of light shined through the darkeness..
a constant source of encouragement,
full of Godly wisdom and intricate thoughts.

i thank God for you Tyree!

Jude 1 : 24

Now unto Him that is able
to keep me from falling..
please dont let me fall in love.

but nevertheless,
THY will be done.

214o9.

today i had a wonderful day filled with cleaning and the laughter of my closest friends but on such a day revolved around love and physical emotions , i dare say i took a second to contemplate how i really felt about some things and i came to these conclusions:

1. once i love someone i love them forever.
2. sometimes we cant help who we love.
3. out of sight does not take someone out of mind.

desi arnaz,

though this may be strange,
i happen to find desi arnaz quite
appealing . he loved to dress ,
always wore suits & ties , he was
a musician , had a beautiful smile,
and was imaginative and funny.
it seems that all of those qualities
wrapped into one make the perfect gentleman.
im not sure about his salvation, but i dare
say if that man were saved, and i was alive
when he was alive i definitely would've had
to have been mrs. desi arnaz. shooot.


ps; where is the ricky to my lucy?

wtf.

excuse me ? ....

all things

romans 8 : 28 says
" AND WE KNOW THAT GOD CAUSES ALL THINGS TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE THAT LOVE GOD , THOSE WHO ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE"

and ever so often i end up in situations that seem like they can only hurt me, as though nothing about this situation is working in my favor. but just recently..today actually God revealed to me that just cause it seems like its not in YOUR favor, God has to work things together for the good of "those that love him, and are called according to his purpose" not just me.

but i can truly say after today i am satisfied knowing that something not "seemingly" in my favor is already in my favor, and God has blessed someone i care dearly for by hurting me just a little.

but in the end i trust GOD to do what he said he would do. Lord, thy will be done.

abstain.

obedience is better than sacrifice..
so what do you get when you pair the two?

new moon.

wait,
dont ever
come into my world.
and then turn it upside
down, or as some would say
right side up..

Lord help me remain focused,
and save someone [i love] along the way.


amen.

out of sight.

DEFINITELY not out of mind.

last call.

my cousin was killed on monday
someone knocked on the door of my aunts house and asked for my cousin to come outside..when he went outside he was shot and killed..the funeral was yesterday january 22nd and as they buried his body the minister spoke up and said sunday morning he gave his life to Christ ... this is such a powerful thing, and it truly shows how much God loves us and will do whatever it takes to win our souls..the problem is , everyone wont have the same chance that my cousin did...i urge i beg i recommend that you give your life to Christ, and let him become Lord of your life...
romans ten & nine says all you have to do is confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord & believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead and you shall be saved...thats all it takes ..will you give God that chance?

44.

the dream now reaches out && touches the walls of the white house.
an amazing man has become president. and has manifested history.
all i can do now is pray and ask God to guide him, and keep him
and his family safe, and gently lead by the Spirit. I pray his obedience
and I pray that in spite of his title that God's face be that which he seeks the most.

God Bless Our President...

"mom" says.

" keep god first and He will give you your hearts desire "

sometimes.

Sometimes What you want doesn't match up to what you need...........

Sometimes What you thought was the right thing might not be the God thing....

Sometimes you gotta be selfless as a result of you being Selfish......

Sometimes the breaking point no longer is a bad dream but becomes a reality......

Sometimes you have to be reminded that you was bought with a price and as a result you no longer belong to yourself.....

Sometimes Slavery is more valueable than being the Slave owner........

Sometimes............... Sometimes................ Sometimes happens....


- Minister Michael Johnson

clean it up

some people are so messy. ugh.