the best is yet to come.

my belief for 2oo9 is that the best is yet to come
i believe that God will blow my mind, and all the
things hes promised and spoken over my life will
begin to manifest..tonite dana's mom auntie hailey
said " the time is out for mediocrity" how right was she?


we only get one life given to us on this Earth,
and though man's days are all filled with trouble
we have the power to pray and get a handle on those
things that trouble us, if i can testify for a moment.

ive been struggling with something and those closest
to me know what im talking about , and ive been wanting
to forgive and get over it, but my pride & flesh were
really getting the best of me. so as i do in any situation
that affecting my mind i go to God and ask for guidance, and
for a solution cause if theres on thing i hate its dissension
i hate to be at odds with anyone and as ive matured ive learned
to find a way to settle the problem but pride was like no way !

so i spoke to my favorite and he gave me words and really helped
see that i was being immature and being a christian i have to remember
that no matter what anyone does to me forgiveness has to be on the other
side of my anger, i have to love regardless. sister gail compared forgiveness
to Gods forgiveness in a a relationship and God loves us so much
that no matter what we do He'll always be waiting for us to repent and come home.


this is the mindset ive been trying to take, and i refuse to succumb to the flesh
and let my pride prevent me from forgiving those who have wronged me its easy
to forgive , but forgetting is the issue.

but anyway i prayed that God would help me settle this and HE already has begun
the process...i love my God so much im just like in love with Him and all he has done
for me just blows my mind... but what i love most is the best is yet to come !

look at me.

so many things have changed this year,
i was told the number 8 meant new beginnings.
and when i look over the year 2oo8 i see nothing
but that.. God changed soooo much for me , and
through the tears and the hurt hes brought me
closer to him, and thats all that matters,

the national evangelist joyce rogers was at my church
on sunday and while she was doing altar call she said
" God says some of the things you lost this year you
arent going to get back .. hes not going to replace them
hes not going to give you anything , nothing but HIM."

&& thats all i want..
i dont want love ,
i dont want friendship
i dont want everyone to love me
but God if i could just rest in your arms
in your presence in your house forever
there ill be satisfied...

though it hurt and youve had
to literally rip me away from people
( hey you created me with this heart
that loves sooo hard ) im thankful you
did it cause you're the only one worth
the love this heart has...

when it hurts so bad.

i became attached to him because i'd lost love for him. noone mattered to me more than him he was my best friend he comforted me, he protected me, and was there as a friend whenever i needed him, and he was attached to me as well. we did everything together we became ATTACHED TO ONE ANOTHER.

but thats exactly what it was attachment. i lived off of him. in my weakest state he was everything i needed.

my sanctuary , with him the worlds problems went away. when he was angry i was hurt, when he yelled i cried, when i upset him i would do everything in my power to make it right because i neeeeded his friendship. i needed that security. i needed to know that while everything around me was changing, he'd always be there .

and i think thats why its so hard being without him now. cause i dont have that protection, that friendship, that sanctuary, when the my problem's became too much i ran to him, didn't even have to explain he just provided the comfort i needed with his jokes or his laughter...i sought him for everything, but that was the problem.

when God caused us to separate it hurt me so deeply, i cried myself to sleep EVERY night, i could see why God wanted us to be apart, but i was afraid to be on my own , and without him. God revealed himself to me.. reminding me that HE's my sanctuary my protection, my best friend, my love, my everything. and before he was there God was there...