as im maturing im learning & understanding that maybe i love people a tad much more than they love me. ive been hurt by friends and loved ones so much in the past because of this but it cant be a quality in me that i wont be blessed for..loyalty i guess some would call it... the thing is when those quality people come around they'll understand that and love me for it ... and my dear husband will not have room enough for the love ill be able to give him..
its only sometimes..like these times when i miss him do i realize that loving someone more than they love you can be a slightly painful experience..but hey that usually doesn't change things now does it?
so its pretty much my birthday .. one year away from not being a teenager...does that mean i get to take advantage of the excuse to be an idiot? naw im above that. happy birthday britteney yvonne scales you were chosen by God before being formed in the womb. He has made you fearfully and wonderfully and every step that you take in Him is ordained and ordered by God. every trial every mistake, everything you've ever done He knew about it..your past is your past, your dreams and hopes for the future lie in Him, trust GOD and HE will never ever fail you...He loves you more than you can ever love yourself or anyone else..trust Him, and let him redeem and refill you...He'LL ALWAYS BE THERE...
one: God is good, i been struggling and struggling tryna find some release so i went to nana talked to her about it , and guess what she did? she calmed me down and prayed for me =] thank God for praying nanas.
two: i had a dream last night he said : " britteney, i love you. & i said i know i love you too ______ , and he said " no i mean i love you ".
so saturday night, we took my bff kiki h. to the orpheum theatre to see justin nozuka , lenka & missy higgins. can i first say it was an amazing show three FANTASTIC artists who are very talented. secondly, i took AWESOME pictures:
i emailed this to myself in november from my sidekick...its quite interesting.
"i put my toe in the water to test you but you came from behind & pushed me in & at first i floated , swam , explored you. i enjoyed you the way your waves pushed me to & fro the way you engulfed me in your sweet coolness you let me relax in you & hide from hot summer days in your hands yet in your darkest places i found parts of you that i admired like the managerie of beautiful colors on your walls & floors the beautiful things that take life in you , but i found parts of you that were hidden by your beauty , by your waves , by the way you move , you got me right where you wanted me and your current took me under , i couldnt feel the floor i began to drown even as strong as i am i started to drown in you & as i sank i realized that outwardly you were everything i wanted but deep within you`re just a ugly body of water , snatching me under , flowing peacefully as you watched me drown."
so this is it , the day before my 19th birthday my favorite celebrity dwayne johnson will be hosting the 2009 kids choice awards and he'll be in the same city im in...its pretty heart wrenching to know he'll be so close and iwont see him.
but hey, maybe i should start praying about it, cause God does give us our heart's desire right? but that seems so shallow. but hey i got spice girl tickets 10 years ago on a prayer so who says i wont get to meet the rock??
