love & marriage.

there have been times in the past where my pride has attempted to mask my heart's scars in saying that i never wanted love, i never wanted to get married, i never wanted any of it, but if i can be transparent for a moment i'd dare say there is nothing i want more. i often come off as rude, or indifferent because i have the tendency to hide my emotions to prevent the public from seeing me at a vulnerable place, but my heart beats for love & romance, and i find now that it aches for love more than ever before. because i've been at the brink of it. i've seen a future full of it, and though that idea has been thwarted by the reality of the situation i still believe in it. the bible says in 1 corinthians 13 that "love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" and that reminds me that if the love i possess parallels that verse then it must be real. it reminds me that the love that i possess never fails. so in spite of the present i know that the burden my heart carries for him is love, and if i remain faithful it will NOT fail.

maturity

sometimes we have to ask God to grant us the maturity to stay on assignment and not get attached.

manifest.

Is it possible to love someone for something they haven't become yet, and to love them in a time that has not yet manifested itself?

because i do. I love him for who he is in his fullness of God. For who God has created
him to be. And my soul recognizes that, and loves him for it.

screeech.

so i got into a car accident last night.
and the three most important people in my life
(outside of my family ... well sort of ) were with me
and i thank God for sparing us and keeping us safe..
i also thank God that my car still runs though it looks
PRETTY BAD ! nobody can take care of me like my God can !

reciprocity.

its the most amazing feeling in the world to find out that the person that you love most in the world feels like EXACT same way.