when it hurts so bad.

i became attached to him because i'd lost love for him. noone mattered to me more than him he was my best friend he comforted me, he protected me, and was there as a friend whenever i needed him, and he was attached to me as well. we did everything together we became ATTACHED TO ONE ANOTHER.

but thats exactly what it was attachment. i lived off of him. in my weakest state he was everything i needed.

my sanctuary , with him the worlds problems went away. when he was angry i was hurt, when he yelled i cried, when i upset him i would do everything in my power to make it right because i neeeeded his friendship. i needed that security. i needed to know that while everything around me was changing, he'd always be there .

and i think thats why its so hard being without him now. cause i dont have that protection, that friendship, that sanctuary, when the my problem's became too much i ran to him, didn't even have to explain he just provided the comfort i needed with his jokes or his laughter...i sought him for everything, but that was the problem.

when God caused us to separate it hurt me so deeply, i cried myself to sleep EVERY night, i could see why God wanted us to be apart, but i was afraid to be on my own , and without him. God revealed himself to me.. reminding me that HE's my sanctuary my protection, my best friend, my love, my everything. and before he was there God was there...