love & marriage.

there have been times in the past where my pride has attempted to mask my heart's scars in saying that i never wanted love, i never wanted to get married, i never wanted any of it, but if i can be transparent for a moment i'd dare say there is nothing i want more. i often come off as rude, or indifferent because i have the tendency to hide my emotions to prevent the public from seeing me at a vulnerable place, but my heart beats for love & romance, and i find now that it aches for love more than ever before. because i've been at the brink of it. i've seen a future full of it, and though that idea has been thwarted by the reality of the situation i still believe in it. the bible says in 1 corinthians 13 that "love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" and that reminds me that if the love i possess parallels that verse then it must be real. it reminds me that the love that i possess never fails. so in spite of the present i know that the burden my heart carries for him is love, and if i remain faithful it will NOT fail.

maturity

sometimes we have to ask God to grant us the maturity to stay on assignment and not get attached.

manifest.

Is it possible to love someone for something they haven't become yet, and to love them in a time that has not yet manifested itself?

because i do. I love him for who he is in his fullness of God. For who God has created
him to be. And my soul recognizes that, and loves him for it.

screeech.

so i got into a car accident last night.
and the three most important people in my life
(outside of my family ... well sort of ) were with me
and i thank God for sparing us and keeping us safe..
i also thank God that my car still runs though it looks
PRETTY BAD ! nobody can take care of me like my God can !

reciprocity.

its the most amazing feeling in the world to find out that the person that you love most in the world feels like EXACT same way.

new flame.

all in me.

i wish i could explain
why im here in this place
standing beside you but i cant
its very difficult when God places
us on an assignment that we'd
never thought we'd be. its a little
more difficult when your heart is
on the line as well, but i love God
and i know he'll protect my heart.

live & learn

as im maturing im learning & understanding
that maybe i love people a tad much more
than they love me. ive been hurt by friends
and loved ones so much in the past because of this
but it cant be a quality in me that i wont be blessed
for..loyalty i guess some would call it... the thing is
when those quality people come around they'll understand
that and love me for it ... and my dear husband will not
have room enough for the love ill be able to give him..

its only sometimes..like these times when i miss him
do i realize that loving someone more than they love you
can be a slightly painful experience..but hey that usually
doesn't change things now does it?

19

so its pretty much
my birthday ..
one year away
from not being
a teenager...does
that mean i get to take
advantage of the excuse to
be an idiot? naw im above that.
happy birthday britteney yvonne scales
you were chosen by God before being
formed in the womb. He has made you fearfully
and wonderfully and every step that you take
in Him is ordained and ordered by God. every trial
every mistake, everything you've ever done He knew
about it..your past is your past, your dreams and hopes
for the future lie in Him, trust GOD and HE will
never ever fail you...He loves you more than you can
ever love yourself or anyone else..trust Him, and let him
redeem and refill you...He'LL ALWAYS BE THERE...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

two things.

one: God is good, i been struggling and struggling tryna find some release so i went to nana talked to her about it , and guess what she did? she calmed me down and prayed for me =] thank God for praying nanas.


two: i had a dream last night he said : " britteney, i love you. & i said i know i love you too ______ , and he said " no i mean i love you ".

i pretty much dont need to say anything else.