im on my j-o ..

so i just got a phone call from a beautiful white named Rob offering me a position at his company! So there it is folks...I've got a job. I owe it all to Jesus! I want to start blogging more so I'll be back later on today with another post. Just had to put the good news into the atmosphere :)

"YOU'RE FIRED

In August I was hired at UCLA and overall it has definitely been a humbling experience. I've learned how to shut up and listen when I dont want to. I've learned to appreciate the fact that I can walk on my own two feet, and I can eat, speak, and think without the assistance of someone else. I've been waiting for my six month probation period to be over so I could begin to invest in purchasing a car, and moving into my own apartment. Today I was FIRED ! This is the first time I have ever been fired from a job, but I am EXTREMELY grateful. God knows I was thankful for the money, but I truly HATED that place. The only upside to that job was interacting with patients and having the opportunity to affect someone's life with my kindness. That is all over, and though it seems as though the things that God has promised me have been thwarted, I know better. I also know that Romans 8:28 is real, and God works all things together for my good. So dear me: Congrats on God moving you from one platform to another :)

dreams.

tis a sad instance to be in love and that love not be returned. to sit and wait for something that may never occur. falling asleep at night touching dreams that will never come true. where does one go when these dreams are the only reality that one knows ? when hope and tightly squeezed pillows are the anchor that holds you together..where do you go ? do you fight clenching your eyes, or do you open them & die ?

favourite songs.

nothing is more appealing to me than a man that loves God and music, because i honestly believe that being in love is like hearing your favorite song..or hearing a song you've always loved but haven't heard in a while...and i want him to be able to love me more than that moment. i want to be his favorite song..and i'll sing it beautifully...push play.

poll

if you're in love with someone should you tell them how you feel, even if you arent sure how they feel, or even if you've been hurt by this person before?


what do you think?

love & marriage.

there have been times in the past where my pride has attempted to mask my heart's scars in saying that i never wanted love, i never wanted to get married, i never wanted any of it, but if i can be transparent for a moment i'd dare say there is nothing i want more. i often come off as rude, or indifferent because i have the tendency to hide my emotions to prevent the public from seeing me at a vulnerable place, but my heart beats for love & romance, and i find now that it aches for love more than ever before. because i've been at the brink of it. i've seen a future full of it, and though that idea has been thwarted by the reality of the situation i still believe in it. the bible says in 1 corinthians 13 that "love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance" and that reminds me that if the love i possess parallels that verse then it must be real. it reminds me that the love that i possess never fails. so in spite of the present i know that the burden my heart carries for him is love, and if i remain faithful it will NOT fail.

maturity

sometimes we have to ask God to grant us the maturity to stay on assignment and not get attached.

manifest.

Is it possible to love someone for something they haven't become yet, and to love them in a time that has not yet manifested itself?

because i do. I love him for who he is in his fullness of God. For who God has created
him to be. And my soul recognizes that, and loves him for it.

screeech.

so i got into a car accident last night.
and the three most important people in my life
(outside of my family ... well sort of ) were with me
and i thank God for sparing us and keeping us safe..
i also thank God that my car still runs though it looks
PRETTY BAD ! nobody can take care of me like my God can !

reciprocity.

its the most amazing feeling in the world to find out that the person that you love most in the world feels like EXACT same way.